Outlander and my feelings.

20 years ago, I started reading a series of books by Diana Gabaldon starting with Outlander. I was impressed enough to purchase all of them in hardcover over the next two decades. Every time I get a new one, I re read the whole series. Well, this summer, they made a tv series of it. 16 episodes per book, I believe. I was so excited I ordered Starz, just to watch it. And for the first 8 shows, while I don’t think he is totally the Jamie of my own imagination, the actor playing the lead male has done a good job. And here I am, at 51, LUSTING after this 34 year old young man, like a teenager. Even my husband, who usually just watches my weirdness, has commented on it. I dream of this guy. I go to sleep humming the theme to the series, and wake up the same way. I feel totally ridiculous, and it scares me a little. Now they are on a mid season hiatus, and I find myself a little more withdrawn from the feelings. I have joined a couple of groups on facebook and twitter, to keep up with information about filming and when it shows again and find I am getting disgusted with the silliness of all those “groupies”. And I really hate the possibility that I am one.

Beyond that, the characters of my imagination are not really close to the characters now on the show. Up until the wedding episode, it went the way I expected. The last one before the break, my Jamie was more, well, manly, in the face of the redcoat attack. He would not carry Claire away, and then abandon her immediately after. I understand time restraints of filming, but surely there are ways to make it seem time passed without loosing so much of the story. And my Claire might scream, but not for help. Pain, rage, fear, yes, Help me help me, not a chance.

I think I will still be watching when it comes back in April, but maybe with less enthusiasm as I had in the beginning. I love the books and the author hasn’t lost a fan, I will continue to wait with bated breath for each new addition to the series. I just won’t be pulled into the show like I was in the beginning. Easy enough to wait for April.