Raising Grandchildren

Back in February, my daughter calls in the middle of the night(almost midnight).  Can you come get the girls, the police say they cannot stay here.     Huh? What?   Police???   Ok, I gotta get your brother to drive,  my car is in pieces.

So I call my son, he comes for me, we head out.  She calls again.  How long, the police are getting restless.   I am 20 minutes out.  Hang on.  We get there and pull up out front.  No lights in the house, two cop cars with lights off out front.  The cops come down, I tell them I cannot get out of the truck, because it is lifted and I am disabled.  So they tell me there was domestic abuse,alcohol abuse, the house is a sty, no food for the girls, the power is out, animal feces around, and its me or DHS. So I take 2 hungry, dirty children with no clean clothes and lice, first to Mcdonalds for some food, then home to sleep.

I find I am still in shock, several months later.  I did not raise my daughter to allow this.  Alcohol was always something to worry about because of family history.  There is anger in me.  That “the parents” would subject the babies to this.  That they found enough money to buy cigarettes and booze, but not food for the girls.  That I let the father keep me from going into the home for years.  That my daughter flat out lied to me.  That I didn’t know.  Why didn’t I know?  The kids came to visit once a week for years.  And I didn’t know.  They were Manic and Starving when they were here, and I chalked it up to good food, candy and being excited to see us.  Why didn’t I know?

Last month, on advice from DHS, we filed for guardianship, and now make the decisions for the girls.  They are much calmer, happier, full.  They laugh, they follow the rules, they do chores, are lice free, clean and no longer always hungry.  We are working hard to get school work caught up.

And I am still angry.  Neither of the parents ask how they are doing.  They don’t ask me anything.  Like about the problems we have had getting school and bus stuff corrected.  About needing glasses.  About health issues.  About the weekly DHS visits I have had to put up with.  About the shrink coming to my house for the girls or why they need one.  Just, when can I come play from the dad and squat from the mom.  I think if I ever let go of my anger, I would go to jail…….  So I just do the best I can for them.  And to hell with the rest of it…. for now.